I was picking up my "heart attack in a bag" of McDonalds for a quick supper with Esteban and driving down a neighborhood. The tree lined boulevard was quaint and extremely domestic. I felt my heart pang and remembered a dream I had a long time ago. In the dream I was older, probably early thirties and lying on a couch in the sun next to a window, and I remember laughter and two little kids running up and jumping on my stomach and calling me "daddy." I remember smiling and hugging them....and that was my dream. The simplest of dreams and yet the most poignant, and driving along the Rexburg neighborhood brought it to my mind and all the pangs of desire associated with it. I dreamed of being done with school. I dreamed of this not being my second to last semester of undergraduate, but my last year of graduate school. I was not going to be walking for a degree in Economics and Psychology, but rather a Masters of Public Administration and a Juris Doctorate. Life would seem so much easier if I was driving home to a family and living life the way it was meant to be lived, and not struggling through school. That is when the epiphany hit....this is life, and school is not a period of time I have to struggle in purgatory, but rather it is an important part of my life and if I am not living it, then it is my own fault. I am wasting my life not because I am in school, but because I am not enjoying every minute of being alive. The smiles of those who frolic while the sun is out are no different than the smiles I COULD be having while I sit in the Econ lab and perform regressional analysis. We choose to live or to die, and if I don't learn to live today, I will be an attorney someday and be dreaming of when I can retire and not have to worry about working. I have loved school, and I continue to love education and teaching and I need to wake up to the opportunities and joys of my life. That being said, there is nothing wrong with a little dreaming to keep the soul moving forward towards an end goal. I will finish off my post today with my thoughts of perfect domestic bliss.
MY PERFECT FUTURE
* Happily married with 2-3 children (and I want to take in foster children when my children are in college so I can help other kids get the chance and a good life.)
* Live outside of the city and suburbs on a few acres of land with horses and 1/2 acre orchard and maybe 5-10 acres of open fields. I want a big house, not over 4500 sq ft.
*House - needs 4-5 bedrooms, 3 baths, with dormer windows, and two stories with a basement. More than anything it needs a library room, filled with books upon books upon books.
*I want to be the type of father that never misses a game or recital no matter what. I will make sure no matter how busy I am that I always put my children and wife before anything.
* I will want, but never force, our family to be big into activities together. I want to ride horses as a family in the fall, ski in the winter, fish in the spring and camp, and jet ski and boat in the summer. I just want that all around fun family that can give lasting memories with their children through shared activities. I also will be big on reading and learning. I am a life long learner and I am SO eager to teach my children about what I know and let them form their own opinions.
* Active in the church, this is the most important.
I could literally go on for hours about my perfect dream, but then it would be ruined when the dream becomes something different that I will learn to love even more than I ever could have the dream. I once dreamed of going to Yale and being a psychologist, and now I am living a different dream and am more happy than I could ever dream. God helps us love where we are at, and so the dream is great as long as I can live with the one that God gives me. That being said I will follow the blog of my good friend Justin and talk about what I need or look for in my future partner.
1)Intelligent, she doesn't have to be a geek like me, but I need someone that has opinions and ideas. They don't always have to be the same as mine, in fact I love when they are different so we can discuss and really help each other see all the perspectives.
2)Passionate, I am a passionate person, and although I come across cold when you first meet me, I have a deep passion for life and for politics and church. I want a partner who is passionate about something in their life, and whose passion drives them towards whatever goals they have in their life.
3)A desire to progress, I don't mind a partner who wants to go out and work, in fact I prefer it, not because I want them to make money to support us but because I want them feeling like they are progressing in this life. I want to come home and talk about what we learned and our ideas, and since I want to be SUPER active in raising the children we can BOTH talk about that. I don't want the usual relationship where I can talk about work and she talks about the home and family.
4) Has to get along with my mother (and preferably be approved by my Abuela) My mother is the quintessential woman to me. I want my wife and my mother to have a great relationship so that they can talk feel comfortable talking once a week and being friends.
5) A strong testimony, I love the gospel with all my heart, but I know I can get lazy. I want a partner who is even stronger in my faith than I am. I want her pushing me and always bringing me back to God.
6) Desire to stay healthy, I need my partner to push me to be healthy with her. I love running, WHEN I get in the habit of doing it. I dream of going on morning runs with my wife and evening bike rides. I want to be a health family, not a health NUT famly, just a healthy one.
7) She needs to have the ability to smile and laugh ALOT,...... I am stressed out enough for an entire city, and I need someone who balances all my stressing and sour looks with alot of smiles and laughs. I want my spouse to be the life of the home.
8) Patient, with life, with children, with me....the attribute of great mothers
9) Charitable/Kind....my mother is the most charitable/forgiving person I know, and I need my partner to have that same love for humanity.
10)Frugal...one of my biggest fears is someone who will spend all I make and put us in debt. I appreciate frugality even when someone is extremely wealthy and look for it in anyone I date.
Now I have a dream and a list posted.......well I better go work so I can be worthy of the dream and have the attributes needed to have someone of the caliber I want to marry, want to marry me in return. In the end all lies in our hands and we have ability to work towards a dream or wait for it to never come.....so here's to my future of being Mr. Domestic.
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